Why They Say You Don't Listen

Understanding the Dynamic

When someone claims you're not listening, it's crucial to recognize this might be a projection of their own inability to hear and validate your experiences. This dynamic often intensifies as we step more fully into our power and authentic selves, challenging others' preconceptions of who we should be. The accusation becomes more frequent precisely when we're standing most firmly in our truth—not because we're failing to listen, but because our confidence disrupts old patterns of interaction where we might have dimmed our light to make others comfortable.

The Wisdom of Selective Listening

True listening is a sacred act of presence and discernment. It's about knowing when to open your ears and when to trust your inner voice. As women who have navigated decades of relationships and experiences, we understand that authentic communication requires both parties to be ready for genuine exchange.

The wisdom lies in recognizing that selective listening isn't about closing ourselves off—it's about choosing where to invest our emotional energy. When we've accumulated years of insight and understanding, we develop an innate sense of which conversations will nurture our growth and which ones merely drain our spirit.

Reclaiming Your Voice

When you've done the work of personal development, you recognize that growth requires both speaking your truth and remaining open to learning. This balance comes from a place of wholeness, not from the defensive posture others might try to push you into.

The process of reclaiming your voice involves understanding that your experiences have value, your insights matter, and your perspective is worthy of respect. It's about recognizing that sometimes, when others say "you don't listen," what they really mean is "you no longer automatically defer to my opinion."

The Transformative Journey

This stage of life calls for a new approach to communication—one that honors both our capacity to listen and our right to be heard. When we understand that true dialogue happens between equals, we can stop trying to prove ourselves and start operating from a place of inherent worth.

Embracing Your Power

As women over 50, we've earned the right to trust our discernment. When someone suggests we're not listening, we can pause and check in with ourselves: Is this feedback coming from a place of mutual respect and growth, or is it an attempt to maintain old power dynamics that no longer serve us?

Moving Forward with Grace

Remember that your journey isn't about becoming someone new—it's about fully emerging into who you've always been. When others struggle to hear you, it often reflects their journey, not yours. Your role isn't to shrink yourself to make space for their limitations, but to stand firmly in your truth while remaining open to genuine connection.

The Power of Integration

This transformation in how we handle the "you don't listen" accusation becomes a gateway to deeper self-trust. It's not just about communication—it's about recognizing that our life experience has given us the wisdom to know when to lean in and when to let go. This discernment is a gift that comes with age, one that we can embrace with confidence rather than apologize for.

Creating New Patterns

As we step into this new way of being, we create ripple effects in all our relationships. When we respond to accusations of not listening with centered confidence rather than defensive explanation, we model what it looks like to stand in our power while remaining open to genuine connection.

The journey to authentic communication isn't about perfecting our listening skills—it's about honoring our wisdom while remaining open to growth. When we understand this, the accusation "you don't listen" loses its power to shame us and instead becomes an opportunity to demonstrate what true dialogue looks like: a meeting of equals, each bringing their wisdom to the table, each worthy of being heard.

About the Author

Dr. Diva Verdun, the Fierce Factor Expert and #1 transformative architect on aging, empowers women over 50 to seize their destiny and Age with Power™. Through her signature F.I.R.E.™ methodology and Fenom University, she ignites women's fierce potential to live life on their terms. Follow her on Facebook or Linkedin.