The Liberation of Unbecoming

This question marks the beginning of perhaps the most profound journey for women over 50: the shift from socialization to realization.

For most of our lives, we've been meticulously trained in the art of becoming—becoming the perfect daughter, the supportive wife, the nurturing mother, the accommodating colleague. We've excelled at molding ourselves to fit into spaces that weren't designed with our fullness in mind.

But what if the most revolutionary act isn't becoming someone new, but unbecoming everything that isn't truly you?

The Socialization Trap

Society has masterfully constructed a maze of expectations for women. Each turn represents another sacrifice of self—another instance where we've been conditioned to believe our worth lies in our utility to others.

This conditioning runs deep. Many of us were taught:

• Our opinions matter less than keeping the peace

• Our needs come after everyone else's

• Our dreams are secondary to practical responsibilities

• Our value increases with our self-sacrifice

These messages weren't delivered in bold declarations, but in subtle, persistent ways: the raised eyebrow when we prioritized our career, the praise when we put everything aside for family, the sideways glance when we expressed desires beyond our "assigned" role.

By 50, many of us have become master accommodators—experts at anticipating others' needs while leaving our own longings largely unexplored.

Age with Power Advantage

• Your decades of experience have given you the wisdom to recognize limiting social patterns that younger women might still mistake for truth

• You've already fulfilled many societal expectations, earning the freedom to rewrite your story without explanation

• The social confidence that comes with age provides natural immunity against others' judgments

• Your life wisdom allows you to distinguish between genuine values and internalized social programming

The Awakening: From Should to Could

There's a particular alchemy that happens as we cross the threshold into our 50s and beyond. The veil begins to thin. We start noticing the gap between the life we've built and the soul we've neglected.

This is not a midlife crisis—it's a midlife awakening.

The discomfort many women feel at this stage isn't evidence of failure; it's evidence of emerging consciousness. It's the soul's way of saying, "Remember me? I've been waiting."

This awakening often begins as a whisper of discontent, a sense that something essential has been overlooked. We might find ourselves asking:

• Why do I feel invisible despite all I do for others?

• Why do my relationships leave me feeling depleted rather than energized?

• What would I do if I weren't constrained by everyone else's expectations?

• Who am I beyond the roles I've played?

These questions mark the pivotal moment when we begin shifting from socialization to realization—from living according to external scripts to authoring our own stories.

The Realization Revolution

Realization is fundamentally different from socialization. Where socialization teaches us to look outward for validation and direction, realization invites us to turn inward for wisdom and truth.

Realization isn't about becoming someone new; it's about recognizing who you've always been beneath the layers of conditioning.

This journey connects directly to Purpose—the first principle in the Core 4 Principles of F.I.R.E.™. As I often teach, purpose isn't something you discover outside yourself—it's something you uncover by reconnecting with your inherent worth and wholeness.

When we make this shift, we recognize that we weren't put on this earth to fulfill others' expectations. We were born with a unique essence, with gifts that only we can offer. Our purpose isn't to contort ourselves to fit into pre-existing boxes but to create from our authentic center.

Breaking the Codependency Cycle

One of the most insidious effects of our socialization is the development of codependent patterns. We've been taught that our value lies in what we give, how we serve, how well we anticipate others' needs.

This creates a dangerous equation: my worth = my usefulness to others.

When we operate from this equation, we give far more than we receive. We deplete ourselves. We become resentful. We feel invisible despite how much we contribute.

The shift to realization allows us to break this cycle. We begin to understand that:

• We are inherently worthy, regardless of what we produce or provide

• Our needs are as important as anyone else's

• Setting boundaries isn't selfish—it's essential

• Receiving is as sacred as giving

This represents the Power element of the Core 4—not power over others, but power that emerges naturally when we reclaim our sovereignty.

Your Power Shift Protocol

• Create a "Socialization Inventory" by listing three beliefs about womanhood you absorbed without questioning

• Practice the "Permission Pause" before automatically saying yes to requests that drain your energy

• Implement a daily "Essence Check-in" by asking: "Is this choice aligned with who I truly am?"

• Replace the question "What should I do?" with "What would honor my authentic self?"

• Schedule dedicated "Creation Time" for activities that spark your passion, regardless of their practical utility

The Realization Roadmap

The journey from socialization to realization isn't completed in a single breakthrough moment. It's a path walked daily, through small choices and gradual awakenings.

Each time you honor your inner voice over external pressures, you strengthen your connection to your authentic self. Each time you choose passion over obligation, you reclaim a piece of your soul's territory.

This journey touches on each element of the Core 4 Principles:

• Purpose: Reconnecting with why you're truly here, beyond the roles assigned to you.

• Passion: Rediscovering what lights you up from within, rather than what earns approval from without.

• Prosperity: Creating abundance by aligning with your authentic gifts rather than forcing yourself into ill-fitting molds.

• Power: Cultivating the unshakable confidence that comes from living in alignment with your truth.

The Stakes Are Higher Than Personal Fulfillment

While this journey is deeply personal, its implications extend beyond individual happiness. When women over 50 reclaim their authentic power, they create ripples that affect everyone around them.

In a world that would prefer women to remain comfortably numb, fully awake women represent a revolutionary force. By refusing to shrink, by insisting on our right to take up space with our full brilliance, we create permission for younger generations to do the same.

Our liberation from socialization isn't just for us—it's for every woman who will come after us.

The Time Is Now

There's a particular urgency to this awakening in our current climate. Forces that would prefer women to remain small and manageable are gaining momentum. The push to return to so-called "traditional values" is often code for returning women to restricted, prescribed roles.

But women over 50 stand at a powerful inflection point. We've gained enough wisdom to see through the illusion. We've developed enough perspective to recognize manipulation. And we're young enough to lead the charge into a new paradigm.

We don't need more socialization—we need realization. We don't need more instructions on how to fit in—we need encouragement to stand out.

The world doesn't need more women who've mastered the art of disappearing. It needs women who've mastered the art of showing up—fully present, completely authentic, and absolutely unapologetic.

Your power isn't found in perfecting the roles assigned to you. It's found in the liberation of unbecoming everything that isn't truly you.

The journey from socialization to realization isn't easy. But on the other side of that threshold lies the freedom you've been seeking all along—not freedom from responsibility, but freedom to respond to life from your authentic center rather than from conditioned patterns.

This is how we Age with Power. Not by clinging to youth or desperately seeking validation, but by finally, gloriously becoming exactly who we've always been beneath the layers of "should."

Welcome to the liberation of unbecoming.

Dare to Be Fierce Ladies! It’s Your Turn!

Diva

About the Author

Dr. Diva Verdun, the Fierce Factor Expert and #1 transformative architect on aging, empowers women over 50 to seize their destiny and Age with Power™. Through her signature F.I.R.E.™ methodology and Fenom University, she ignites women's fierce potential to live life on their terms. Follow her on Facebook or Linkedin.